Caroline's Purpose Read online

  “Thank you, Coach. Thank you for this opportunity, and I don’t just mean as a manager.” Caroline’s voice wavered as tears closed in on her throat.

  “You’re very welcome. Keep in touch, alright?” He smiled and winked at her.

  “I will.” Caroline collected her bag and water bottle from the bench and climbed up the steps onto the field. She paused, taking everything in one last time. The way the grass was the perfect shade of green. The snow-white chalk that drew the batters’ boxes and the pitching circle. The red clay dirt that had stained hundreds of pairs of her socks throughout the years. The bullpen.

  Her eyes settled on the crates of balls, and she remembered the weight of the ball in her hand. The burn of the seam over her fingers as she spun each pitch with precision. The slide of her back foot as she dragged it behind her. The snap of the ball in the catcher’s mitt as the batter swung and missed.

  She tore herself away and walked down the narrow, one-way street that took her to the mall. Ducking her head, one tear slid down her cheek as she jogged toward the setting sun, working to avoid eye contact with anyone she met. The purple and navy shades of dusk settled in around her as she found her car. Her keys slipped through her fingers and clattered to the concrete. Bending over, she collected the keys, and herself, before opening her door and sitting down. She made eye contact with the reflection in the review mirror. Her blue eyes were clouded with unshed tears and sadness, and a small ache had settled in around her heart. The pain didn’t surprise her, as she thought about her decision to quit the team. As she recognized the life she had just left behind.

  What shocked her was the small sense of relief.

  Eleven

  The light-blue October sky was dotted with soft white clouds that shaded the sun every few minutes. Connor sat on the top of the pipe fence, watching as Caroline worked with Luna, teaching her to walk over a small bridge. All of the babies had been doing well with leading, so the class had graduated from the grass pasture to the dry lot next to the barn. An obstacle course was set up there, and the weanlings were learning how to cross the bridge, step over poles on the ground, walk onto a tarp, and back through a set of poles shaped like an L.

  Connor was enjoying the weather and the new challenge the obstacles presented for the babies, but he was struggling to shake off his irritation. They were being watched. Not the class, but just Caroline and him.

  By Caroline’s boyfriend.

  Connor was sure Caroline hadn’t invited him, as Ryan stood away from the barn, careful to keep his distance. He was leaning against one of the buildings used as classrooms for agricultural classes taught at the farm. His arms were folded across his chest, and Connor could feel his eyes burning a hole into the back of his neck. If Caroline knew he was there, she hid it well.

  “Good girl, Luna.” Connor watched as Caroline praised the filly for putting one foot up on the bridge. She rubbed her neck, then turned her away, rewarding her for her effort. She beamed over at Connor. “She’s doing so well.”

  “Yeah, she’s doing great.” And she’s not the only one, Connor added to himself. In the two weeks since their practical and the plastic bag incident, Caroline had become much more relaxed. She still got nervous and scared, and there were times when she still handed Luna over to him when she felt overwhelmed, but it was happening less often, and she was recovering quicker. He wasn’t sure what had brought on the change, but she seemed happier overall.

  After their conversation in the union, Connor had gone home and Googled her name, wanting to know more about her softball career. He had found dozens of articles written about her and learned that she had won state championships her sophomore, junior, and senior years of high school. It was obvious she had worked hard to excel at the sport, chasing after success like her life depended on it.

  And Connor thought maybe it had.

  It made sense to him, why she had needed something else to focus on, to obsess over, after her accident. Being around horses must have been too hard for her, so she moved on the only way she could figure out how.

  By finding something else, someone else, she could be.

  Caroline had Luna back at the bridge, working again to get the filly to put her feet on it. As he watched, Connor caught glimpses of the girl he had watched from a distance years ago, the one who was fearless, the one who belonged on a horse. He hadn’t seen that girl in any of the softball pictures he had found.

  Connor didn’t recognize the softball version of Caroline. Sure, he could tell it was her, but her eyes were different, like she was searching for something. She looked too focused, too harsh, almost cold, as if her purpose in life was to dominate the batter in the box before her. The contrast between that Caroline and the Caroline in front of him was startling.

  Connor glanced over his shoulder to see if Ryan was still there. He didn’t look for long, as he didn’t want to make eye contact with the guy. The angry look on his face unsettled him.

  Connor blinked as he began to realize why Ryan was watching. If Connor didn’t recognize Caroline in her softball pictures, Ryan wouldn’t recognize the girl who was working with the horse. He wondered if Ryan had noticed the change in Caroline in the past two weeks, too, and was trying to make sense of it.

  “Thatta girl, Luna. One more step.” Connor turned his attention back to Caroline. The same front foot Luna had placed on the bridge before was on it again, and Caroline was coaxing her to step up with her other front leg. The filly was pulling against the pressure Caroline had on her lead but wasn’t fighting her. Caroline stayed patient, waiting for even the slightest forward movement.

  Luna sighed and picked up her foot. Caroline pushed her hand forward, releasing the hold she had on the rope. Luna put her second foot down on the bridge.

  “Good girl.” Caroline’s fingers circled the white marking on the filly’s head. She let her stand there for a moment before backing her away, and leading her toward Connor.

  Connor hopped off the fence as they approached. “That was awesome.”

  “Yeah, it was. She’s so brave.” Caroline lifted her hand for a high five. Connor reached up and clapped his hand against hers, cringing on the inside at the thought of Ryan’s eyes still focused on them.

  Caroline looked at her wrist to check the time on her Fitbit. “I know there’s still a few minutes left, but what do you think about letting her be done for the day?”

  “I think that’s a good idea. Getting that second foot up on the bridge seems like a pretty good place to stop.” Connor scratched Luna on her shoulder. The filly leaned into his touch as he found an itchy spot. “You still free to work on our midterm project tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, around 1:00?”

  “That’ll work.” Connor gave her a reassuring smile. “You found directions okay?”

  “Yep. I-Ten to Highway Eighty-Three. Twenty-five miles, then turn right, go another two miles then another right. Then follow the dirt road all the way to the driveway, right?”

  He smiled again, impressed that she had memorized the instructions from the GPS. “You got it.”

  “Alright, everyone, that’s all the time we have for today. Let’s take them back to their field,” Dr. Carnes interrupted. “Have a good weekend.”

  Caroline looked up at Connor. “Do you mind taking her out? I need to get to my next class a few minutes early today.”

  “Sure thing.” Connor took the lead rope from her, snapping his eyes to where Ryan had been standing. To his relief, he was gone. He was thankful he hadn’t stuck around to bother Caroline.

  “Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Connor watched as Caroline squeezed out of the gate ahead of the horses, ducking into the tack room door and the classroom beyond to collect her things. Connor turned his head as Luna pulled on his arm, straining to follow her friends as they headed to the pasture. “Alright, little girl. Let’s go.”

  Connor listened as everyone around him chattered away about their weekend plans. His mind drifted to their midte
rm project, a presentation on a well-known trainer and their methods. He and Caroline had chosen Pat Parelli, and they had started their research earlier in the week.

  Leading their young horses, the students arrived at the field and worked together to release the horses at the same time. Rebel squealed as his halter slid down off his face, breaking into a gallop as he headed to the far end of the pasture. Luna caught up to him with ease, the only other baby that could run that fast. Connor chuckled as she nipped at Rebel’s neck as they turned the corner, enjoying their competitiveness.

  He latched the gate after the last student went through and walked into the barn to get his stuff. As he swung his backpack over his shoulder, Dr. Carnes walked into the room.

  “Connor, I’ve been wanting to tell you how good of a job you’re doing. Not just with Luna, but with Caroline as well. It seems you’ve really been able to help her out.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Connor smiled back at the professor. “I’ve been enjoying every minute of class.”

  “Good to hear. I’ll see you on Monday.”

  Connor walked to his truck, his eyes down as he thought about Caroline. Dr. Carnes seemed to think Connor was the reason Caroline was doing so well, but he wasn’t so sure. He had done his best to help her whenever she needed him, and to be her friend, but he couldn’t think of anything specific he had done that would have caused the relaxation and confidence he had seen in her since the practical.

  “Hey!” A voice yelled at him as he opened the door to his truck. Connor froze as he saw Ryan jogging toward him from a car parked across the lot. He didn’t leave...

  Slowing down to walk as he reached the tailgate, Ryan’s eyebrows were creased, and his green eyes reflected tension.

  “Who are you?” Ryan spit out.

  “Connor Taylor.” He held out his hand to shake Ryan’s.

  Ryan eyed Connor’s extended hand then ignored it, crossing his arms instead. Connor let his hand fall back down to his side.

  “What do you want with my girlfriend?”

  Hesitating, Connor prayed. Lord, give me the right words here. Help me calm him down. He cleared his throat. “I’m her partner in class, that’s all. We were assigned to work together.”

  Ryan glared at him through squinted eyes. “I don’t buy it. There’s something more going on here.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “One, I saw how you watched her in class just now. I’m not an idiot, I can see you like her. Two, she’s changed since working with you. She quit her manager position with the softball team, and she wants nothing to do with it, or baseball, anymore.”

  “She quit? When?”

  “A couple weeks ago.”

  Nodding his head, Connor felt a cool sense of realization working its way through him. The timeline matched when Caroline had started acting lighter, happier.

  “Don’t play dumb with me. I’m sure it’s you who convinced her,” Ryan snapped, annoyed by Connor’s silence.

  “Nope, wasn’t me. I didn’t even know she quit until just now. She didn’t say a word to me.”

  “I don’t believe you. I want you to stay away from her.” Dropping his arms to his sides, Ryan clenched his fists.

  Connor pressed his lips together and swallowed. “I can’t do that. Like I said, I’m her partner in class.”

  “Then ask for a different partner.”

  “I won’t do that.”

  Ryan stepped closer. “And why not?”

  Connor gulped, studying the guy in front of him. His anger was easy to see, but underneath, Connor thought he was afraid. “Ryan, did she tell you why she’s taking this class?”

  Confusion clouded Ryan’s expression. “She needs a major and didn’t know what to pick. Why?”

  “So, you don’t know why she picked this?”

  “She didn’t pick this.” Losing his patience, Ryan ground his teeth together. “Her advisor picked it for her. Something about it being a good fit. Again, why?”

  “A good fit?”

  “Yeah, ’cause her mom does this horse thing, I don’t know, so her advisor thought she should too.”

  Horse thing. This guy pays attention, Connor scoffed to himself. “Just her mom? Not her? She’s never done the horse thing?” He had to bite his lip to keep from smiling at his use of Ryan’s words.

  “Not until this stupid class. She played softball instead.” Ryan tipped his head. “Stop asking me questions. I’m the one questioning you here.”

  “Sorry. What else did you want to ask?”

  Pausing, Ryan glared at Connor. “I guess that’s it. Stay away from her, got it?”

  Connor shrugged. “I’m not gonna do that. She has a gift, Ryan. I’m just trying to help her.”

  Rolling his eyes, Ryan cleared his throat. “Listen. She doesn’t need you. Or your help. Or her gift.” He lifted his hands and put air quotation marks around the word gift. “She has me. That’s all she needs.” Ryan turned and headed for his car.

  Sighing, Connor opened the door to his truck. “You don’t even notice her,” he muttered as he shoved his backpack into the cab.

  “Excuse me?” Ryan turned back toward Connor.

  “Nothing, just forget it.”

  Ryan closed the gap between them in four long strides. He stopped just short of where Connor was standing. “You better start talking.”

  “You don’t see her or care enough to know who she is. The other day, you walked right by her in the union. She smiled and waved and was happy to see you, and you blew right by her. Too busy with that little entourage of yours.” Connor felt his own anger burning, and took a breath to try to rein it in.

  “How do you know anything about that?” Ryan hissed.

  “I was sitting with her when it happened.”

  “You hung out with my girlfriend?” Heat and blood rose to Ryan’s face, turning his cheeks crimson red.

  “No, not really. It was raining and there weren’t any other open seats. I ran into her coincidentally and asked if I could sit down. She told me I could.”

  Tightening his jaw, Ryan took a step closer. “You’re pretty dang lucky I’m here on a baseball scholarship and am close to getting drafted. That’s the only thing keeping me from knocking you out right now.”

  Every muscle in Connor’s body stiffened at the threat. He opened his mouth to tell Ryan to leave.

  “Connor, is everything okay?” Dr. Carnes interrupted, calling from near his car.

  Clearing his throat, Connor took a step back. “Yes, sir. Ryan here was just leaving.”

  “This isn’t over,” Ryan snarled low enough just for Connor to hear.

  “But it is. Go, before you lose your precious scholarship.” Connor pointed toward Ryan’s car.

  Straightening at his words, Ryan pasted an annoyed half smile on his lips. Connor watched as he jogged to his car, got in, and sped away. He looked toward Dr. Carnes, who was staring at him. When Ryan’s car was out of sight, Dr. Carnes lifted his hand toward Connor, before driving away himself.

  Connor climbed into his truck and cranked the engine. Breathing in and out, he closed his eyes. Lord, I’m sorry I got so angry. Thank You for controlling that situation and not letting it get out of hand. Please, if Ryan sees Caroline tonight, take care of her. I can’t stand the thought of him hurting her.

  Connor reached for his auxiliary cord and dug his phone out of his pocket to plug it in. He called up his driving playlist as he prepared for the hour or so drive home. He tapped the shuffle button, and “Run” by Urban Rescue sprang to life in the speakers.

  Letting the lyrics fall over him, he put his truck in reverse and left the parking lot. He whispered along as the first verse continued. “Please don’t leave me where I am. Take me back where love began. Though my eyes can’t see the end, I believe You have a plan.”

  Connor turned onto the road and headed for the interstate. He let the song work its way into his heart as he drove and pictured Caroline. There was a plan; he just had to
wait it out and keep praying for her every step of the way.

  Twelve

  Connor was anxious all morning as he helped with chores around the ranch. He was pulling his phone out every few minutes, checking the time and looking for any calls or text messages, while he helped feed the horses and clean their stalls. Now he was sitting down to eat lunch with his parents and couldn’t sit still.

  He bit off a chunk of his BLT sandwich and chewed, tapping his foot on the leg of the table. Again, he pressed the home button of his phone to check the time. 12:42.

  “Connor, please. You’re driving me nuts.” His mom reached over and put her hand on his knee, a kind smile on her face. He stopped his bouncing foot and smiled back.

  Connor swallowed. “Sorry, guess I’m kind of restless.”

  His dad snorted. “That’s an understatement. You’ve been like this all morning.”

  “Must be some midterm project to get you this stirred up.” Jessica winked at him.

  “Some project indeed.” Greg laughed, setting his sandwich down on his plate.

  “Alright, guys. Give me a break. Just remember what we talked about. Don’t say anything about knowing her parents. Or her.”

  “We got it, we got it. You only told us a hundred times.” This time, his dad winked at him, still teasing.

  “Oh yeah, our lips are sealed.” His mom pushed her lips together, turning an invisible key and throwing it over her shoulder.

  Connor rolled his eyes and shook his head as he took another bite. “You guys are impossible.”

  Outside, Connor heard tires on the gravel driveway. He peered out the window, recognizing Caroline’s little blue Nissan. He hurried back to the table, popping the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth. He took his plate to the kitchen as he chewed, turning on the water as it crashed from his hands into the sink. He heard his parents’ laughter from the table.

  “Sorry!” he called out over the running water. “If nothing else, at least I’m providing you guys with some entertainment.”

  Connor finished rinsing his dish and headed to the entryway to pull on his boots. He yanked the legs of his jeans down over the shafts and turned for the door.